What do i do with the bad memories from nine years back?

this is the kind of thing a psychologist can help you with. memories like that can be dealt with by some sound reasoning around what happened, like what you can do, what cant be changed and you have to accept. and perhaps creating rituals and thought responses for when memories get overwhelming. a therapist would apply a whole manner of ways to do this. one "technique" i have experimented with myself, is changing the actual sensory perceptions, richard bandler style (see source). like you study the images, sounds etc that the memory consists of, and actively change them as if you were a sound/video engineer turning dials and switches to change the properties of them